Sakto Sad Bitaw Oi…

In an exclusive girls’ school in uptown, Cebu City

Teacher: Girls, what did you have for breakfast? You? (points to a student)

Student1: I had ham and eggs.

Teacher: You? (points to another student)

Student2: I had hotdog and eggs.

Teacher: And you? (points to another one)

Student3: Tocino!

Teacher: How was it cooked?

Student3: Ang-ang ma’g sinabwan.


Nadunggan ni “B”

Lost in Translation

In a van from Mactan bound for Cebu City.

Foreigner: What is “mirisi”? What does that word mean?

Girl: Uhmm..it’s kinda hard to explain…

Bisaya Dude: You know it’s like this…it’s like “I told you not to do but you do. Look at now!

Foreigner: I seeeeee. So, it’s a whole sentence!


Nadunggan ni “B”

Chure ka?

Office sa Banilad, atbang sa Country Mall

Lady1: Wa pa daw ta’y jobs karon kay gi-REBOOTH sa clients ang servers.

Lady2: “Rebooth” diay na? Diba “reboot” man na?

Lady1: REBOOTH na oi!! Naunsa man ka!?


Nadunggan ni alias

Where the Hell is Chris Tucker?

Sa jeep padung Ayala (overheard)

Girl1: Katraffic sad oi.

Girl2: Lagi. Ma-late na gyud ta ani.

Girl1: Hala! Magpa-picture pa man diay ta sa?

Girl2: Hala ka! Aw o. Asa man ta magpa-rush hour?


Nadunggan ni leylander

Barking up the Right Tree

American Tutor: Very good. Now, what do you call the tough material that covers the outside of a tree?

Bisdak Student: Uhmm.

American Tutor: Come on, John. You just read it a while ago.

Bisdak Student: Uhmm

American Tutor: Come on. Think.

Bisdak Student: Uhmm

American Tutor: (loses patience) Bark, John, bark!

Bisdak Student: Aw! Aw! Aw! Rarr! Aw!


Nadunggan ni leylander

Sekretong Kanaugan

Overheard, usa ka buntag sud sa dyip padulong sa I.T. Park:

Pasahero: Plete Noy o, palihug ko miss, usa ra na Noy…

Driver: (Sa samin) Kang kinsa ning Baynte?

Pasahero: Ako na Noy…usa ra na (Nag tan-aw sa relo, murag late)

Driver: Asa naog?

Pasahero: Secret!


Nadunggan ni Tiniwini

Not Applicable

Waiting in line at a fast food restaurant.

Lady 1: Apply ko sa inyoha beh. Unya ikaw ako himuon reference.

Lady 2: Hala, unsaun man na nga wala man ta nagkauban ug work ever? Dili man gani ta classmate pag-college!

Lady 1: Ingna lang gud nga friends ta sa friendster.

Himantayon: A True Story

chronicles the limits of our humanity -- in pure, unadulterated Cebuano. We don't mean to eavesdrop, but some people are just too darned loud. Bato-bato sa langit, ang maigo, ayaw'g ka-panic!

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