R.O.I.

Overheard from a cubicle.

Office worker: Grabeh, halos kwarenta mil na akong nagasto pagpanguyab anang bayhana! Unya bali diyes mil kapin pa ako nabawi! Buwagan nako oi!

Have to work!

Somewhere in Gorordo…

Girl 1: Ayaw nalang uli To! Diri lang sa ta!

Toto: Kinahanglan nako muuli kay magtrabaho pa ko.

Girl 1: Diri lang diay ka magtrabaho, naa bitaw ka’y laptop.

Toto: Unya, internet?

Girl 1: Diri lagi! BOARDBAND dsl man ni sila!

Summer’s here!

2 Girls on the beach.

Girl 1: Hala Marie! Nindota’g lawas ato niya o!

Girl 2: Asa ba? Dali! Kuhaa tong stethoscope!

Unsaon nalang…

Two call center agents on lunch break.

Agent 1: Grabeh na man sad na sila mo-reprimand ug agent oi!

Agent 2: Lagi! Ipaagi pa jud sa laing tawo ang kasaba! Binata kaayo nga style!

Agent 1: Dili man ta mga kinder oi! If they need to tell us something, there really is no need to beat around the BASH!

Justice!

An HR Personnel yelling on the phone.

HR Personnel: Whatever we do, we can justify! We are the justification department!

Idol!

Inside the elevator.

Man 1: Bai, knock knock.

Man 2: Who’s there?

Man 1: Eminem.

Man 2: Eminem who?

Man 1: Emineeeeeeeeem of looooove. What more emineeem of looooove..

Man 2: Naa pa mas nindot.

Man 1: ‘Sa man?

Man 2: Let us pray. Eminem of the father, and of the son and of the whole spirit.

Man 1: Amen-em.

37 Million

A Taxi Stand in the mall.

Taxi Driver 1: 37 million na kuno ang lotto, bai!

Taxi Driver 2: Boanga! Sa kadugay nakong maintain ug numero, wa pa man jud ko kadaug bisan diyes centavos na lang!

Taxi Driver 3: Asa man diay ka tigpalitan ug lotto nga tiket?

Taxi Driver 4: Kinahanglan pa diay ta mopalit?

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Himantayon: A True Story

chronicles the limits of our humanity -- in pure, unadulterated Cebuano. We don't mean to eavesdrop, but some people are just too darned loud. Bato-bato sa langit, ang maigo, ayaw'g ka-panic!

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